The Twinkle Series

Written by: Thanisha Thambidurai, FCSN Voices Youth Reporter
Graphics by: Angel Li, FCSN Voices Graphic Artist

“I needed to accept who [Jeffrey] is rather than always want [him] to change and become who we wanted him to be,” said Jacqueline Yu, mother of Jeffrey Lin. 

At the age of three years old, Jeffrey Lin was diagnosed with autism by his pediatrician after his parents noticed him having some difficulty with speaking languages. Initially, they spoke English and Mandarin at home, but Jeffrey’s parents now use only English with him. In 2001, the Lin family joined FCSN and found a community of parents going through similar situations, friends for Jeffrey, and a chance to navigate their son’s journey with autism delicately. Jacqueline Yu, Jeffrey’s mother, shared her twenty-six-year-old son’s story. 

Born in Palo Alto, Jeffrey’s birth was nothing out of the ordinary. However, after observing Jeffrey struggle with learning languages at two years old, his parents, Edmend and Jacqueline, and his pediatrician concluded that he had a slower rate of language development. Following this, Jeffrey was placed in various Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) programs, which are individualized programs designed to improve children’s social skills, teach them the value of independence, and prepare them for neurotypical classrooms. In kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school, Jeffrey’s school day was in a classroom of neurotypical peers with an aide to assist him through the lesson as necessary. The ABA program was arranged for him through the schools he attended; during high school, Jeffrey attended classes without an aide. 

At FCSN, the Lin family participated in many enrichment or social recreation programs when Jeffrey was younger. Now, years later, Jeffrey and his parents attend family gatherings every other week to spend time with their family friends. With many of their children going through similar scenarios, the parents were able to bond with one another and form long-term friendships. Flexibility in different environments is a skill Jeffrey continues to exhibit, and Jacqueline hopes that FCSN will continue to help him develop these skills. However, Jacqueline shares that her son is generally compliant, a trait that she believes people can appreciate.

Like others, Jeffrey has his own interests and enjoys train-related activities, which include visiting the train museum in Santa Clara to watch other people demonstrate train models. His fondness extends to solving puzzles, counting numbers, and reciting the ABCs. Jeffrey selects DVDs, specifically Disney ones such as Toy Story, and books to read when they visit libraries. Additionally, music plays an important role in his life. When he was younger, Jeffrey adored playing with sound-producing toys, such as books that had buttons to play music. Still fond of music, he likes to remain surrounded by some sound as much as possible. Jacqueline adds that while she encourages Jeffrey to play piano whenever he can, it is an activity that he remains neutral towards, though he continues to love music.  

For Jacqueline, Jeffrey truly showed her that everyone is different and she realized it is important to recognize these uncontrollable differences. She initially thought she could always make every situation work with the right mindset. However, as Jeffrey grew older, Jacqueline realized that even a parent, no matter how much more they want to do for their child, can only do their best. Sometimes, situations may not go as planned, or it may be difficult to reason with the child that day, but a parent must do their best and make the most of the scenario. Jacqueline expresses that this is one of the most valuable things she has learned from her experiences with her son. 

To future parents, Jacqueline hopes they can remember that every child is born with their own unique qualities, but the best thing that parents can do is to support their child regardless of how independent they want their child to be. For example, she wants her son to live independently in the future, but she accepts that this is not likely at this point in time. She aims to maintain a home environment Jeffrey will appreciate. Acknowledging that it is significant when a child with special needs can adapt to the neurotypical society, but also being understanding and supporting her son when he cannot is important to Jacqueline.  

“Everyone is born differently, and we can try our best to help them,” said Jacqueline. “…but, we shouldn’t really just make [Jeffrey] into what we believe a normal person is.”