Written by: Alexandra Kwong, FCSN VOICES Youth Reporter

“For the people without experience of being around special needs persons or families, I hope they may try to put themselves in others’ shoes. The whole world will be better when we understand each other more,” – Michael Tsao, father of James Tsao. 

In 2001, James Tsao was born via a planned C-section. The entire birth process was normal, the pregnancy no earlier, no later, the birth no longer, no shorter than it needed to be. During the first year of his life, progression and development was seemingly normal, no unusual signs present. However, during his second year, his parents started feeling that something was off.  He became less active, made less eye contact, and showed more and more language delay. His motor skills, social interaction capabilities, and language development seemed to regress, not fulfilling the age development checkboxes. 

Immediately noticing the change, his parents sought professional assistance. Unfortunately, getting James a medical diagnosis was a difficult process. Doctors appointments were waitlisted for more than a year out. Fortunately, a Stanford doctor noticed them and understood the need for early intervention. James was diagnosed at three years old with autism. 

Right after the diagnosis, his parents promptly jumped into action. They started contacting the Regional Center, but after the age of three, they needed him to be enrolled in the school system. They had James try a variety of school systems including both public and private preschools. Meanwhile, they sought support through a variety of services including ABA, RDI, OT, speech therapy, sound frequency tests, and allergy tests. Through their journey of James’s diagnosis, they met parents with children similar to their own son. Eventually, those connections led to FCSN. 

Starting at the age of five, James began attending some of the different FCSN activities.  At first, the activities ranged from dance, to motor skills, to preschool related programs. Then, his parents started attending the regular parent meetings and seminars. Now that James is an adult, he attends FCSN’s adult day program. After being a part of the FCSN community for so long, James has met a lot of his peers and family members, making the environment comfortable and safe for him to be a part of. 

Outside of the activities James does, he also has qualities that make him, him. As a multifaceted person, James has numerous strengths including music. Due to his good memory, repeating songs without music sheets comes naturally. Besides, he carries a very close perfect pitch, allowing him to play a melody just from hearing it once. Other than music, James has an aptitude for math, allowing him to do quick calculations via mental math or abacus. Generally, James has a very calm and gentle personality, making him a very welcoming and kind person. 

While autism brings real challenges, James’s story also shows that individuals with autism have unique strengths, talents, and ways of experiencing the world. One thing Michael, his dad, emphasizes is, “We have learned to see his strength instead of his weakness. There are many occasions that we are amazed by his ability to exceed our expectations. It taught us to see from the angle of ability instead of disability.”  James’s life reflects that same idea through the things that bring him joy and comfort. Outside of music and math, he enjoys watching YouTube clips, especially animation videos. He loves swimming during the summer or whenever the weather is nice, and finds comfort in a regular schedule and daily routine.

At the same time, the battles James faces daily may often be overlooked by the general public. He is sensitive to sound and often avoids crowds, especially where there are babies or small children, due to the overwhelming unexpected high-pitched sounds. Though, he has learned self-soothing behaviors to cope, such as rocking back and forth or humming. In public, he may seem shy or passive, and because of his cognitive delays, certain situations where quick thinking is needed is still an area of worry for James’s parents.  

Other than James’s personal challenges, his parents have gone through a variety of experiences that many other parents may not encounter. That includes finding a lawyer to defend James’s rights, meeting many different therapists, getting his conservatorship. Most importantly though, finding families with their similar situation. His parents have learned and grown with other families, their children becoming lifelong friends. 

Looking toward the future, James’s family hopes he will continue to live a happy and meaningful life. For now, they expect he will stay with them for several more years, but later on, they hope for him to live independently or with good friends. Perhaps he may travel the world with his family or find comfort in his routines. Either way, they hope his future is filled with stability, enjoyment, and care.

Through James’s story, his family hopes others will gain a better understanding of children and adults with special needs. They hope parents will focus less on pressure and more on recognizing and celebrating their child’s strengths. They also hope the public will better understand the special needs community and approach it without judgment.

James’s story is a reminder that every person has their own unique strengths, and something special to offer. Sometimes those strengths may not be obvious right away, but they are always there. By choosing understanding, patience, and empathy, people can help create a world that is kinder and more welcoming for everyone.